When I visit sistaur we will generally go out to eat at least once during the visit and maybe she'll introduce me to some place to which I have not yet been. That happened recently, and in looking over the menu I noticed a beer that I had not tried before. Amstel Light.
Okkay, it's a Light beer, and Light beers tend to... well... suck. I knew that going in. I wasn't expecting much. I was expecting colored water that tasted vaguely like beer and wouldn't be very filling. If I was lucky, it might surprise and be that thing of legend, the Light beer that doesn't suck.
As you have read the title, you know that like Ponce de Leon, I was unsuccessful in the quest for that particular fountain. Sure, failure was expected. Ah, but the degree of failure in this case is the thing. For sistaur is a veterinary technician and she worked that day. And she tried the Amstel Light. And it was rejected most brutally.
"This smells like a urine sample I ran today."
Now before you make horse-excretion jokes, which admittedly do come to mind, I'll tell you that she works in a city small mammal practice: dogs and cats with the occasional rabbit or ferret. No large or farm animals, no birds, no fish, no reptiles. This sample was from a Standard Poodle with a urinary tract infection. Make up your own name or joke, but don't feel obligated to tell me. I wound up drinking the Amstel. I will not be ordering that again.