Vakkotaur (vakkotaur) wrote,

Microfiction VII

"Ah, Spring is finally here and things are warming up." beamed Roger, "All the Winter's fuel burning has finally paid off."

Stanley looked up, "Huh? Sure, the furnaces kept people warm through the Winter, but what do you mean the fuel burning 'paid off'?"

"Oh, doesn't the scientist get it? Seasons are global warming's short form."

"Riiiight... care to explain that line of thinking?" asked Stanley, looking slightly queasy.

"It's simple enough. Plants grow in the Spring and Summer. Plants removed CO2, a greenhouse gas, from the atmosphere. Less greenhouse gas, less greenhouse effect, and things get colder, this causes Fall and Winter."

"Oh bru-uh-uhther... dare I ask of the rest?"

"Equally simple. It gets cold and people burn things, mostly hydrocarbons, to generate heat. This releases CO2 and when the greenhouse gas CO2 concentration comes back up enough there is more warming. And that's how Spring and Summer return."

"Ow. you make my head hurt. It just doesn't work that way. Seasons are the consequence of the tilt of earth's axis and each hemisphere getting less or more solar radiation as the earth orbits the sun."

"The scientist wants to explain it away with astrology? I never thought I'd hear..."

"'You never thought' sums it up rather well," Stanley grumbled, "I suppose next you'll say that more cookouts and grilling leads to milder Winters."

"You know, I hadn't thought of that, but it fits. Yeah... cookout supplies cost money and with the dampened economy that's a bit of a luxury, so I expect there was less grilling last Summer... and we just had more a severe Winter. Yes, it fits. We had rather mild Winters in the last good economy and we seem to be returning to the 1970s both economically and climatologically."

"Arrrgh!" exclaimed a now quite pained Stanley.

"Aww, You sound tense. I'll go make some tea." Roger wore an absurdly wide grin as he left the room. He didn't believe a word of it, but he finally had gotten back for being exposed to the horror of Shatner Sings Streisand.

Tags: climate change, global warming, microfiction
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